Most Awkward Moment in Japan

I know I have written in a while, but it really is because I am enjoying myself too much to take the time out to write. However, something happened today so shocking that I feel I must write about it.

When I came to Japan over 8 months ago, I had already done plenty of reading to prepare myself for life here. Of course, nothing you can read could possibly prepare you for the level of awkwardness you will be subjected to during your tenure as a foreigner in Japan. That being said, I came with a positive attitude, and up until today, that has carried me through some of the more...difficult moments of adjusting to Japanese culture.

I have been stared at constantly, everywhere I go. People will talk about me as though I am not there. I have had people refuse to serve me, or assume things like I can't use chopsticks and I must want the big portion. I have been asked highly inappropriate questions(How many girlfriends do you have? Do you play sex? Do you have a big "thing"? How do you get to a Love Hotel?), etc. Those same questions have also been used as declarations(You have many girlfriends. You play sex. You have a big thing.) Of course, then there are the just general moments where you always have to explain you don't understand, go to the wrong place, or make some mistake because you couldn't follow directions. And much much more.

But none of that reached the level of awkwardness of today. I mean, I actually had to look up in the dictionary how to say "awkward" in Japanese afterwards so I could tell my supervisor just how awkward it was. Thank god it happened at the end of the school day, because I needed some time alone after this.

It all started around 3:15 today. I am not allowed to leave until 3:45, so as usual I walk around the school to kill time, saying hi to the kids, and generally letting my presence known. I did the same thing yesterday, but wearing an elephant mask. But that is another story(If I remember, I will post it after this). Anyways, I walked around for a while, even visiting the music room which I normally don't go to, and then eventually heard the sounds of a movie as I was walking by the stairwell. So I went upstairs to the 3rd grade(9th grade American) floor and saw a projector setup with all the kids in front of it watching.

There was a classic Japanese style to the film, one which I recognized well because I had taken Japanese Cinema back in college. It was your standard Japanese people lazily doing something that I think is boring(Tea Ceremony, Laundry) and putting it to soft, slow music. I am sure a Japanese person would tell you it somehow demonstrates the nature of the Japanese spirit, but I just thought it was boring. Now, I watched for maybe a minute and I started to get this really weird feeling. I slowly started to back away from the screen(I was towards to back of the room) and make my way to the stairs. I made it about halfway before it happened. BOOM!

The second I heard that sound and saw the white flash, I knew I was done for. By the time the mushroom cloud formed I was already a goner. And by that, I mean I got the fuck out of there as fast as possible. It started to form in my head what this film was about, and things started getting a bit weird. Now I thought, "Not all the kids saw me. Plus, they are pretty dumb, maybe they won't make the connection. Maybe it 'wasn't' what I thought it was?". Now, I know it probably wasn't that bad. It isn't like the kids are going to attack me or something. But I was kinda afraid that the movie would remind them "why" I am teaching them English in their schools now. It was about 3:38 before my supervisor returned from the movie. My supervisor is a pretty light-heartened, Western-knowledgeable guy, so I wasn't too worried about him being angry. I thought I was probably in the clear. Then, the moment when from "kinda awkward" to "very awkward".

He turns to me and says, "Good movie. Nagasaki. Give me my parents back!"

Now for the life of me, for about 15 seconds, I honestly thought he was talking about his parents.

I can almost imagine my face as my eyes go wide, my skin goes white as a sheet(a clean sheet), and my heart starts racing. Normally, an awkward moment can just be brushed off with an "I don't understand" or a "Whoops" or even just ignoring it. But this time I had no idea what to do or say. I turned and looked at him and was actually trying to figure out how I was going to apologize for killing his parents. My mouth actually opened and started forming the words when I realized that, while not smiling, he didn't seem to have the anguish of a person accusing someone of murdering your mother and father. I mean, Japanese people can be hard to read sometimes, but not that hard. I realized pretty quickly that he must have been quoting the movie after I left and was kind enough to translate it into English for me.

I just sat there for about a minute and thought about how awkward a moment that just was. I realized it was so awkward that I had to tell him. So I grabbed my electronic dictionary and looked it up. Then I showed it to him and he is like "Ah yes. Awkward. Now I remember." Then he looked at me and for the first time realized why it may have been awkward. "Oh, I get it. Atomic Bomb. You are from America, who dropped the bomb. Awkward." He said with a smile on his face that he has when he understands a new word. I just looked up at the clock, grabbed my bag, said goodbye, and left. I left 3 minutes early.